Cross Church Notes: Love Handles (Weeks 1-5)

Week 1

How assumptions work

  1. Assumptions affect our decisions.
  2. Assumptions are invisible to you.

A cultural assumption that affects our relationships is the assumption that relationships should make us happy.

Truths about happiness

  1. Happiness is a moving target.
  2. Happiness is in conflict with itself.
  3. Happiness is getting your way.
  4. Happiness is not a destination.
  5. Happiness is not love.

It’s the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness.

There’s relationships, some for reasons, some for seasons, and some for lifetimes.

Submitting means having a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.

Which will you apply?

  1. Voluntary attitude of giving
  2. Cooperating
  3. Assuming responsibility
  4. Carrying a burden

What if we honored people in our lives as if they never did wrong?

If you want change in your relationship, you can’t change what they’re gonna do. The one thing I can change, is me.

Week 2

What if God intended relationships to make us Holy, not to make us happy?

You’re be more successful in your relationships when you’re coming from a place of fulfillment not for fulfillment.

Your single season should be

  1. Healthy
  2. Fruitful
  3. Intentional
  4. Pure

Healthy

Fruitful

Intentional

Purity

Week 3

Keys to a healthy marriage

  1. Celebrate your differences
  2. Communicate effectively
  3. Feed the romance
  4. Make time for hot topics
  5. Give each other grace
  6. Have a Jesus First relationship

There are four keys to communicating with your spouse

There are five love languages

Two things that hinder us from showing our spouse grace

  1. The Me” lens
  2. The Love If” lens

The thing that hinders us from giving unconditional love is pride.

Week 4

Book: The Good Fight

The absence of conflict does not equal health.

The difference between a marriage that grows happier and one that grows more miserable is not whether they fight but how they fight.

Arguments where one partner or the other becomes defensive or stubborn or withdraw a are particularly destructive.

The essence of a bad fight boiled down to a single ingredient: pride.

If pride can get the devil kicked out of heaven, pride can get you kicked out of bed.

The anatomy of a good fight: The Core

1. Cooperation

Good fighters fight for a win-win.

Fore more cooperation:

2. Ownership

Good fighters own their piece of the pie.

For more ownership:

Tips on how to say I’m sorry.”

Three R’s:

XYZ:

3. Respect

Good fighters steer clear of belittling.

For more respect:

4. Empathy

Good fighters step into each other’s shoes.

For more empathy:

Week 5

Pride prevents you from your promise.

What do donkey missions do?

  1. Donkey missions test your patience.
  2. Donkey missions will keep us humble.
  3. Donkey missions test our motives.
  4. Donkey missions are always about something bigger.

More leaders lose their way on donkey missions than on purpose missions.

How do I apply this?

  1. Be faithful.
  2. Don’t let anything be beneath you.
  3. Stop seeing things as pointless, and start seeing things as practice.
  4. Let God change your heart.

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