Journal: March 2019

Instead of a new entry on different days throughout the month, how about one running log each month? Let’s try that.


March 1, 2019

As I wrote in last month’s recap, it was a rough month in a lot of ways — but the month is over and it’s time to focus on March. What I love most about monthly recaps and reflections is how it gives me hard lines to focus on, and when I do have a bad month, I know that it is now over and I get a fresh start on another chapter.


I want to be more intentional about certain aspects of my life. Instead of doing more, I want to do less but with more substance.

Be still. Remove the multitasking. Remove the wandering thoughts that race and plan out a dozen different scenarios. Just be still in the moment.


I haven’t been drinking coffee lately. It’s been weeks since I’ve tasted any. And I don’t really miss it. I already feel like I have enough energy. I’ve replaced coffee with water, and smoothies, and I feel healthier because of it. Not saying this will be for good, but during this season, it feels right.


March 2, 2019

I recorded a new song last night.


I spent the day in Baton Rouge. I bought a few things:


I’ll be journaling a lot this month. Just logging my thoughts and the process of rebuilding. Enjoy the ride/bare with me. I’m fascinated with redemption.


On Chapter 3 of the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I’ve heard so many good things about this book…still waiting for it to click for me, but I feel that it’s getting close.


March 5, 2019

Last day of a 4-day weekend. Been doing a lot of relaxing lately. A lot of listening to audiobooks, listening to Alan Watts, and following the YouTube rabbit hole of the related videos that follow.


My little sister is marching in the Mardi Gras parade today. We just had a 30 minute FaceTime call while she brushes her hair and prepares for it. She’s growing up so fast, and I’m incredibly proud of the woman she’s becoming.

I really don’t like parades, but I’ll be there today, cheering her on as she passes.



March 5, 2019

Last day of a 4-day weekend. Been doing a lot of relaxing lately. A lot of listening to audiobooks, listening to Alan Watts, and following the YouTube rabbit hole of the related videos that follow.


My little sister is marching in the Mardi Gras parade today. We just had a 30 minute FaceTime call while she brushes her hair and prepares for it. She’s growing up so fast, and I’m incredibly proud of the woman she’s becoming.

I really don’t like parades, but I’ll be there today, cheering her on as she passes.



March 6, 2019

I was just talking to a friend about journaling, and how they’d like to start journaling their thoughts each day. I told them about how I do mine: Just a blank page, date at the top, thoughts underneath, and then it’s instantly a blog post. Nothing fancy. Just thoughts. I think everyone should keep a journal, in some form.


I got the news two days ago, that my Great Uncle, Uncle Larry, isn’t doing good, and was sent home on hospice. He was there all of my childhood, and helped raise me. I’m gonna miss him, I already miss him. The last few times I saw him, he thought I was someone else, thanks to his dementia. My name was James, and he started asking me about things I have no idea about. That was the first time a little piece of me felt like he was gone.


Bags are packed. Waiting for approval to leave for Texas to see my uncle one last time.


Approved. Gone until Monday.


March 7, 2019

After a 5 hour drive late last night, we arrived in Conroe, Texas. I’m currently working out of our Admin office in New Caney, Texas. I’ll be going see my Uncle as soon as I leave here.


Time for lunch. This has been a good getaway, despite the circumstances.


Excited to see my sister and my godchild tonight. They moved to Texas a month ago. Been missing them ever since.


Off tomorrow. I’ll be able to spend it with my family.


March 8, 2019

Good morning from Conroe, Texas.

I hear the birds chirping. I feel the window blowing. It’s quiet out here. A day after losing my uncle, there’s a calm resting over me. I think about all of the years that’s passed, and he’s always been right there, all of my life — nearly in arms reach. He lived next door to me, so we saw the same world most days. But he was mentally challenged, so he saw it all from a bit of a different lens, a much simpler one. A lens that I’ve come to appreciate.

The world wasn’t as complicated for him. He just lived. He enjoyed old westerns, wrestling, and Elvis. He loved Coke and bread. He looked forward to his check on the first of the month, and we’d get his money, he’d buy me a coke too.

Simple living. He was a good man.


The family is now sitting outside, enjoying quality time with each other. It’s peaceful out here.


March 9, 2019

2019, so far, has been an interesting time in my life. There’s areas that have lost their foundation — areas that have been stable, but are beginning to breakdown. Medicine is helping me cope, but I’m still aware of these breakdowns. There’s decisions and processes that have to be dealt with, that comes with a lot of meetings, appointments, and traveling to different states.

Time is the enemy for the old memories, but time is also my friend for rebuilding these areas for the future. I’ve learned a lot during these past few weeks, and I continue to read, learn, and find different approaches for each situation that has arrived.

Overall, I’m at peace, knowing that this isn’t the end, but only a season that will build character, faith, and perseverance.


I’m back home for two days before leaving for Texas again. After showering and shaving, I feel really refreshed. Now packing my bag for everything coming up in the next few days.


I’m now sitting at the park, as you see from the picture above. The wind feels good, the sun is setting. There’s kids playing on the slides. Boats are docked. Everything seems so peaceful.


March 11, 2019

10 hour car ride ahead of me. I’ll be in the backseat, working on a new project on the iPad.


Halfway done with my road trip. Feeling inspired.


March 12, 2019

On my way back from Texas. It’s 3:44 AM. Just stopped in Lafayette. Waffle House. For a coffee. Two more hours until I get home. Doubt I’ll go to sleep. I’ll just stay up until work in the morning. Not tired anymore, thanks to all the coffee.


5:20 AM — Through beats playing, and through the Voice Memos app, I thought of and recorded two new drafts for songs. Love when that happens.


9:15 AM — No sleep after a 12 hour car ride. Now at my office. Not sure how I’m functioning (barely am), but I’m here. Gonna be a long day. But a lot was accomplished yesterday.


1:35 PM — Three more hours. Clock is ticking. I just need my bed. Just to lay down and rest. My body is not used to staying up all night.


March 15, 2019

It took me awhile, but I recently fell back in love with you my home. For the past month, it had too many old memories. Yesterday, I did some serious house cleaning, getting rid of things I didn’t want anymore. Making room for the new boots coming in…got rid of two pair of shoes because of this (with three more in a bag on standby). I organized my waters, as part of the decoration of the room, encouraging me to keep drinking. I displayed all of my books on the window shelf. I just made it my own again. And I’m happy with how it came out.


I was spontaneous last night, drove two hours to a random hole in the wall to meet a girl friend for a concert. I had a blast, and stayed up all night, driving in right when it’s time for work. (This has happened twice this week.) Great time, with great company.


Yesterday was also my niece, Petal’s, birthday. Her party is this Saturday. I look forward to celebrating it with her.


I started a gratitude journal yesterday. I’ll keep it mostly private for now. As I stay consistent with it. That’s the main goal.


March 22, 2019

I woke up with peace and clarity this morning. I put on worship music, and began digging into the word.

I started with my morning gratitude, three things I’m thankful for. Then started with Proverbs, using the today’s date as the Proverbs to read for today. Then I moved over to my SOAP guide.

Very thankful for this process this morning. It’s brought so much purpose and clarity to my day already.


March 27, 2019

It’s been a few days since I journaled, and since then, I’ve consolidated all of this month’s journals into one post. A good experiment for this month, especially since I had so many.

Looking back at this month as a whole, and without reading through each journal entry, it truly feels like I climbed a mountain. One that I’m incredibly proud of climbing. Because I won.


This month has brought so many blessings that it’s hard to count all of them, but from each direction now, I see nothing but light. It’s a beautiful thing. I’ve grown stronger with my faith, relationships, and with my inner-self. I feel so much purpose now in this season, and it feels like it was supposed to happen this way. Very grateful for each day, and each obstacle, because it’s made me who I am at this current moment.


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