Inertia: This is a story of feeling stuck while spiraling at the same time. It’s much easier to accomplish tasks when you’re already moving, so don’t stop moving. Trying to make any kind of progress is incredibly hard when standing still and trying to start from nothing. The lack of momentum makes the smallest tasks feel bigger than they really are. So this is me removing that inertia.
Writing: I stopped writing months ago, for whatever reason. I actually think I forgot how to write for awhile. I spend whole days planning to write something, but no words would appear. I keep waiting for this big story to appear, when really, the big story is actually the little story—it’s my words that make it big. I forgot that my way observing the world, the tiny little aspects of it, is what makes the writing special.
Health: My back hurts. From basketball and from getting old. My shoes, brand new, have been giving me blisters. I can’t seem to break them in. And after playing basketball the night before, when I wake up in the morning, my ankles hurt when I walk. My body is breaking down on me in weird ways. But I’m not as consistent with my exercising, so I’m chalking all of this up as being out of shape. I need to put down the Twinkies and go for a run. Or a few runs.
Social: All I see is celebrities, or fake-celebrities, on Snapchat, on Twitter, and on Facebook. Even my president is a diva. It all feels like a race. Everybody is so damn cool. It’s exhausting. The in-your-face selfies and energy that’s constantly flowing through my phone from my peers is draining me, and overall, as a whole, it’s damaging our society. Social media has given everyone this higher level of confidence—whether it’s real or fake—and everyone is their own celebrity. It all feels achievable now. Our reality is distorted.
Car: My car took a few tree branches to the face last week. The weather was bad. I was watching from the window of my new apartment. The rain was pouring down so hard that it was raining sideways. It was a tornado watch, and it felt like it. I wanted to go out there and move the car before a window shattered, but the weather was too bad. Huge tree branches broke and continued to fall on the hood and roof of my car, leaving my brand new baby full of dents.
Apartment: The past few weeks have been spent moving into a new apartment, Downtown Thibodaux. To have stores and restaurants and cafes walking distance from me is refreshing, and something I’ve never had before. It’s something I’ve always dreamed of. The apartment is compact, with one bedroom and one bathroom. The living room has my couch and my kitchen table in it. The kitchen has my fridge, my washer, and my dryer in it. There’s no wasted space.
I’m Nash. I create things. But not right now. Soon though.
Being someone who creates involves a ton of energy and emotions. You have to think and feel something constantly. It’s the only way to bring the words out. So how do you balance the creative process with everyday life? That’s been my struggle this year. When reality is weighing me down, how can I still create? Or how can I write about how life is weighing me down? Everything is art, nothing is safe. So why have I been playing it safe?
Every month is a blank canvas