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Cross Church Notes: Love Handles

Week 1

  • John 13:35
  • Ephesians 4, 5, 6
  • Ephesians 5:1-2
  • Ephesians 5:21

How assumptions work

  1. Assumptions affect our decisions.
  2. Assumptions are invisible to you.

A cultural assumption that affects our relationships is the assumption that relationships should make us happy.

Truths about happiness

  1. Happiness is a moving target.
  2. Happiness is in conflict with itself.
  3. Happiness is getting your way.
  4. Happiness is not a destination.
  5. Happiness is not love.

It’s the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness.

There’s relationships, some for reasons, some for seasons, and some for lifetimes.

Submitting means having a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.

Which will you apply?

  1. Voluntary attitude of giving
  2. Cooperating
  3. Assuming responsibility
  4. Carrying a burden

What if we honored people in our lives as if they never did wrong?

If you want change in your relationship, you can’t change what they’re gonna do. The one thing I can change, is me.

Week 2

  • John 13:35
  • 1 Corinthians 7:26
  • Psalm 51:10
  • Proverbs 6:32
  • Proverbs 18:22
  • Romans 12:1

What if God intended relationships to make us Holy, not to make us happy?

You’re be more successful in your relationships when you’re coming from a place of fulfillment not for fulfillment.

Your single season should be

  1. Healthy
  2. Fruitful
  3. Intentional
  4. Pure


  • You cannot expect a relationship to make you whole.

  • Life does not begin with marriage. It begins with salvation.

  • Transferring unmet needs of your past to a spouse will end in pain.


  • How fruitful is your single season?


  • Dating is for the purpose of marriage.

  • Your dating experiences should bring honor to God, family, your testimony, and your date’s testimony.

  • Dating is a time to be real not to impress.


  • Ways to find purity: awareness, advancement, accountability, availability

  • Place guardrails in your dating relationships.

  • You must be led by your spirit in dating, not your body and soul.

  • Find accountability to support holiness in your relationships.

Just Know That I’m Working On My Return

Just know that I’m working on my return. These words show my potential to get us where we deserve.

These are some lyrics that I wrote a month ago. I didn’t know that they’d become my rock during a rough season of my life. The past few days, after waking up, this sentence is one of the first things I’d think of:

Just know that I’m working on my return.

It’s a process. We lose ourselves sometimes. We lose that confidence, we lose that daily routine. We get in a slump and forget how special we are. But I’m working on my return. I’m rebuilding myself daily.

Ashley Cox:

I’m telling you, the artistic products of brokenness are what truly gets in deep and speaks to others. It’s a good way to be productive and still work through your emotional issues and come up with something that’s a reflection of that struggle.

I fell down a week ago, but over the past two years, I’ve equipped myself with great tools and great people, and I’ve now leaned on them every day this past week. Thankfully, they’ve helped me regain peace.

Stu Babin:

We’ve all heard what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”, but I’d like to spin that differently, as we build upon this life brick by brick. The struggles are just a temporary setback of the continued process. Ultimately, the house you’re building is going to be stronger as a result of it.

The process of rebuilding yourself is a beautiful and humbling experience. My return is close, and much sooner than I expected.

Arrival: A Response To Bad Movies


How to Handle the Difficult Times

Leo Babauta:

The times when things are falling apart are exactly the best times to practice mindfulness and compassion. These are the times we’re preparing for, in a way, when we meditate regularly with mindfulness and compassion, during the non-traumatic times.

A Simple Declutter Habit: Leave No Trace

Leo Babauta:

In practice, this means you have to be mindful of what you’re doing, and conscious that you are moving from one task to another. Most of us rush from one thing to the next without thinking about the transition, but when you’re done with one thing, this is a good time to appreciate the space between things, to breathe and notice if you’re staying present, and to clean up your mess instead of leaving a mess as you traipse through life.

Desire and Temptation

When tempted, no one should say, God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. (James 1:13-15, NIV)

I can’t do it on my own, I’ve learned that. Every time I try to, I get in the way and create more problems than if I would’ve just stayed still, letting the moment pass. Maintaining a clear and steady mind is the goal. My desires interfere with the true purpose of my life, and when I try to take control of a situation, instead of letting it naturally fall into place, chaos arrives, peace is removed, and then ultimately, death is born—in the sense of gaining fruit from that particular season of life.

Ask yourself: what desires prevent you from truly living, and if you could remove that desire, how would your life reach its full potential?

Small Groups (Spring 2017)

The new semester of Small Groups started up at Cross Church recently. I told myself that I wouldn’t join too many this time around, but once again, I couldn’t help myself. Here’s my list.


  • Monday: Life Group (Young Adults)
  • Tuesday: Coffee Lovers
  • Wednesday: None
  • Thursday: Learning Guitar
  • Friday: Star Wars
  • Saturday: Men’s Breakfast
  • Sunday: None

Various Times

  • Hiking (once a month)
  • Bolivia Mission Trip (July)

Nintendo Switch: play anytime, anywhere, with anyone

A 5 minute commercial, showing all the different ways the Switch can be used. On the TV, on the bus, at a restaurant, in class, at a party, etc. I’m curious to see how this appeals to non-gamers, because that’s who his is being marketed towards too.

Everything Is A Dollar

Everything on this list is one dollar: If you’re local, we can meet up, you give me the dollar, and I’ll give you the item. If you live far away, you’ll have to pay for shipping.



  • Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury

  • The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury

  • Dune, by Frank Herbert

  • In Our Time, by Ernest Hemingway

  • The Little Prince, by Antoine De-Exupery

  • How To Write A Sentence and How To Read One, by Stanley Fish

  • How To Read Literature Like A Professor, by Thomas C. Foster

  • The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern

  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, by J. K. Rowling

  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,by J. K. Rowling

  • Ernest Hemingway on Writing, edited by Larry W. Phillips

  • 101 Ways to Successfully Market Yourself, by Jay Miletsky

  • One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories, by B.J. Novak

  • The Sculptor, by Scott McCloud

  • The Gunslinger, by Stephen King

  • Home Team, by Sean Payton

  • Insanely Simple: The Obsession That Drives Apple’s Success, by Ken Segall

  • Steve Jobs, by Walter Isaacson

Filed under: Garage Sale, in memory of my grandma (One of her favorite pass-times was going to garage sales).

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